75 texts from an ex that had to be screenshotted and shared with the world

61. That’s so touching!

See, not all breakups have to be nasty! Just say what you’re feeling from deep down inside.

62. Cold-hearted snake

Awww, that was just so ICE COLD! Just re-frame it in a positive way and consider yourself lucky to have gotten away from that mess.

63. Congrats, maybe

Maybe after another 2 weeks they’ll finally get the hint and move on to something less serious. Like all the single ladies!

64. Sorry honey

I guess it’s time to pay attention to the missus. This free ride is no longer in service.

65. Kept your peaches in case you came back

Yeah, but those peaches probably went bad 6 months ago. Just like their logic and reasoning.

66. Chivalry ain’t dead

It’s just very succinct and to the point. And full of fancy words that make you shudder and quiver, like m’lady and fedora.

68. Please ghost me

Well now, that’s a first. Someone begging to be ghosted

69. I miss you, I hate you, the end

Isn’t this how all true love stories from your ex should go? It has a polite beginning, a flirty middle, and a terrible ending.

70. She’s gone-girling herself tonight, tomorrow, and forever!

‘Cause she knows better. There is no such thing as a casual check-in at 9am from a married man!

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