61. That’s so touching!
See, not all breakups have to be nasty! Just say what you’re feeling from deep down inside.
62. Cold-hearted snake
Awww, that was just so ICE COLD! Just re-frame it in a positive way and consider yourself lucky to have gotten away from that mess.
63. Congrats, maybe
Maybe after another 2 weeks they’ll finally get the hint and move on to something less serious. Like all the single ladies!
64. Sorry honey
I guess it’s time to pay attention to the missus. This free ride is no longer in service.
65. Kept your peaches in case you came back
Yeah, but those peaches probably went bad 6 months ago. Just like their logic and reasoning.
66. Chivalry ain’t dead
It’s just very succinct and to the point. And full of fancy words that make you shudder and quiver, like m’lady and fedora.
68. Please ghost me
Well now, that’s a first. Someone begging to be ghosted
69. I miss you, I hate you, the end
Isn’t this how all true love stories from your ex should go? It has a polite beginning, a flirty middle, and a terrible ending.
70. She’s gone-girling herself tonight, tomorrow, and forever!
‘Cause she knows better. There is no such thing as a casual check-in at 9am from a married man!