51. Guess who’s single?
No really, guess? Me? Please?
52. Pure gold
Absolutely right! This response is pure gold.
53. New self respect
Yes, report that ex as junk! ‘Cause they really are trash, right baby?
54. That’s a no from Tom too
That is so perfectly…scary! No chance of getting Tom to jump on the Oprah’s couch either
55. Bday gift?
The last 10 years of their life. And you out of it!
56. “When you block their number so they try to booty-email you.”
Today I am thankful that I’m not on anyone’s booty email. Or for that matter, eBay’s watch list!
“Mine messaged me on eBay once.”
57. The Christmas lights stalker
Yes, that does sound weird. Unless you like to drive by everyone’s house and check out their Christmas deco’s
58. Maybe in another lifetime
Uh, you’re kinda missing the whole point here. You’re never gonna see them around!
59. Gotye’s got ya
Haha, just like the famous pop song! SOMEBODYYYY!
60. Breakfast of champions
That’s such a great combination. I’d be missin’ whiskey and pop tarts too!