75 texts from an ex that had to be screenshotted and shared with the world

51. Guess who’s single?

No really, guess? Me? Please?

52. Pure gold

Absolutely right! This response is pure gold.

53. New self respect

Yes, report that ex as junk! ‘Cause they really are trash, right baby?

54. That’s a no from Tom too

That is so perfectly…scary! No chance of getting Tom to jump on the Oprah’s couch either

55. Bday gift?

The last 10 years of their life. And you out of it!

56. “When you block their number so they try to booty-email you.”

Today I am thankful that I’m not on anyone’s booty email. Or for that matter, eBay’s watch list! @boblitz:
“Mine messaged me on eBay once.”

57. The Christmas lights stalker

Yes, that does sound weird. Unless you like to drive by everyone’s house and check out their Christmas deco’s

58. Maybe in another lifetime

Uh, you’re kinda missing the whole point here. You’re never gonna see them around!

59. Gotye’s got ya

Haha, just like the famous pop song! SOMEBODYYYY!

60. Breakfast of champions

That’s such a great combination. I’d be missin’ whiskey and pop tarts too!

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