11. Well, he doesn’t give up.
Gotta give him that. Even when told that he has a cocktail weenies that no one dreams of, he’s still looking to score.
12. Hey, you worthless waste of time!
Wait, which waste of time is this? There’s so many
13. Looking good
Yep, that’s what getting out of a bad relationship will do for you. It’ll make you look awesomely smart and beautiful!
14. I think it’s best we just nod politely at parties
This is the best kind of response. It’s polite, but brutally honest. Those are the wounds that cut deep!
15. That’s not true!
RIP, heart. They never loved you to begin with!
16. My mama
Instead of “your mama,” it’s “my mama” jokes! And these jokes are just as funny.
17. It’s like Google knew what he was thinking
Hey stranger, are you up? Google’s response: an article on f-boys just like him.
18. Yeah, cheating does count
It doesn’t matter if you went on a date. Doing the deed with her bestie is still cheating!
19. Get off her Netflix!
Breaking up isn’t as easy as it used to be. Now you have to change both your locks and your passwords, ’cause Netflix stalking is now a thing!
20. Have you divorced your wife yet?
Awww, for goodness sake! Stop texting women that aren’t your wife!